You know you’ve hit bottom, when you’re caring for an ill husband, it’s dinner time, and all you have is a can of cream of asparagus soup. This can’t be good. But this is where 60-somethings shine! I am going to share a top secret with you and you must promise not to divulge it to anyone. It has taken us 60-somethings years to master this technique!
Step One: Look into your loved one’s eyes and say something along the lines of, “Oh honey, you look like you might be in pain.” This will immediately set up the suggestion that he is in pain, and he will be in pain.
Step Two: Suggest that he take two, 500 mg Tylenol — “to get one step ahead of the pain.” This step is crucial. I cannot emphasize the importance of this step.
Step Three: Brown a pound of hamburger and quietly stir in the can of cream of asparagus soup. Cook the heck out of it; simmering gently, of course. But where the recipe calls for 15-20 minutes, make it 25. (Ground Beef Stroganoff — Cooks.com) Follow all other instructions, per recipe, but I suggest you drink wine while you are cooking. This prepares you for the next step.
Step Four: Acquire the eye. Now this is tricky. You must be able to conjure up the vision of the cat in Puss N Boots. You know the look. Where your eyes widen, and fill with hopeful, sorrowful tears. Get that look down pat, and then, you’re ready for Step Five.
Step Five: This is an extra step for those feeling a bit unsure of steps 1-4. Change from your sweats into something that is not referred to as sweats, pajamas, leisurewear…. something he has not seen for a very long time.
Step Six: The finale. Bring him to the table, offering assistance, if needed. Serve up dinner and QUICKLY sit down so that you can be the first to take a bite. This, too, is a crucial step. And immediately, moan, “Ummmmm…. I love comfort food, don’t you?” And then, give him the “eye”.
It should work.