A Lemon Yellow Sheath

I remember about 500 years ago. I was probably 20, and probably about as beautiful as I would ever be. But did I know that? Nooooo! Does anyone realize when they’re at the top of their game? Nooooo! So, I was shopping for an Easter dress. I remember this as if it were yesterday. That’s how pitiful this is. I tried on this beautiful lemon yellow sheath. (60-somethings know what I mean when I say “sheath”.) It was perfect. It was a Jackie Onassis dress — a classic. So, I stepped outside of the dressing room, probably in order to show off a bit, in front of the 3-way mirror. And it happened…. This burly (may I say “BURLY“?) clerk came up to me and said, and may I quote her 500 years later, “Oh darling, women with a fuller figure should not wear a sleeveless dress.”  Yep, she said that. To me. All 125 pounds of me.

Well, that stuck. Forever. And here’s where it gets really rotten. From that point on, I do not believe I was ever to be seen again in a sleeveless dress. For the next zillion years, I spent all spring and summer in 3/4 length sleeves, regardless of the weather.

And now, here I am, a 60-something — just a shadow over 125 pounds — and guess what? I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!! Ha! And I should!! If I hear the term “bat wings” one more time, I’m going to throw something! But if I throw something, the aftershock of my wobbly upper arms might kill somebody. So, I will remain calm. However, with this new-found calm, comes the resolution. I’ve spent the majority of my life hiding what I now realize to be fairly normal upper arms. But now, my upper arms have actually caught up with my hang-up!

Well I’m trying something new. I vowed at the beginning of this year that it would be “MY BEST YEAR EVER”. Given that solemn oath, I’m going to forgive my upper arms. I’m going to embrace them. I’m going to become one with my upper arms. And while I’m doing that, I’m going to implement a new scientific study. Every time I do a load of laundry, I’m going to do 10 arm lifts, on each side, with my ever-so-huge jug of ever-so-concentrated laundry soap. (I first typed “15” and revised that to “10”.) I will start tomorrow, May 24, 2012. I will do this for the remainder of the summer — and I will report to you on “Rally Day”, September 1, 2012.

I would include photos of the BEFORE and AFTER, but I’m not a complete idiot! You’ll have to take my word on this!

Have a great day!


About susansplace

Widowed in 2012, I am a mother and grandmother. Born in San Francisco, I now live in the town I grew up in: Mill Valley, California. I love nature photography. Just an amateur but that's OK! My goal: world peace. Got any ideas?
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11 Responses to A Lemon Yellow Sheath

  1. nutsfortreasure says:

    You go GIRL!
    Use some exercise bands and a friend to GET YOU THERE but I think you have FINALLY arrived back to who you were before you entered that store!

  2. Lynn says:

    That’s hysterical!! I can relate, as I have a sister who’s ALWAYS been thinner than me (think Twiggy), and therefore I’ve never felt like I’m as thin as I could be!

  3. Charlotte Morse says:

    So sad how we let other people influence our lives and our impressions of ourselves. I remember one particularly hurtful comment that was said about me – not even to me – that I fight to this day, even though I am “60-something!” Just remember, “God don’t make junk!”

  4. susansplace says:

    How right you are! I like that one!

  5. Laura says:

    This is so powerful, the realization that we have told ourselves a story based on what someone said to us way back then, and that we have spent our whole lives believing it! It is so freeing to wake up and realize that we now have a choice whether or not to change the story. We are beautiful and perfect exactly how we are now. (and were then too!). That is the story I like to believe!

  6. susansplace says:

    Thank you, Laura! I agree — as Charlotte said, “God doesn’t make junk!”

  7. Ha, funny! That clerk was not only unrealistic and rude, but a rotten salesperson. Most of them lie to get you to buy. 🙂

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