Kicking and Screaming

For 23 years or more my husband was the chief cook. After he had to take an early retirement due to illness, I continued to work and he took up the kitchen duties. Beautiful! He has done the majority of the shopping and the majority of the cooking for all these years. I had NO IDEA what that entails. Before I get started on my rampage, may I say to all you homemakers out there: God Bless You! You are a Saint!!!

And now for the kicking and screaming part.ย  Go to the store like every other day (if you’re lucky), or go to the store and buy a zillion dollars worth of groceries on one trip so you can make sure to get the gasoline reward points? You’ve got to be kidding?

How in the heck do you do it, guys? Chicken, beef, pork, hamburger (OK, that’s beef), fish. That’s five meals. What about the next two? OK. Rotate: chicken, beef, pork, fish, chicken, beef, pork…. OK I get that part, but now what? Oh, I know, spaghetti. But that takes hamburger, so I’m back to five days. Ugh.

And what about the produce issues? What the heck? If I buy a whole bunch of salad stuff, to last a week (and get the gas reward) it goes rotten before we can eat it all. And what about the melon situation? Does someone want to explain why the produce guy can’t cut open a few of them and PROVE whether or not they’re ripe yet? Man, what a drag. Two cantaloupes for $5.00. Hoo Hoo! Cut into one — it’s green.

And that reminds me. Does someone want to tell me why there can’t be a little machine at the front of the store — and you could type in the words “pancake syrup”, and Voila! — Aisle 3.

For anyone that actually prepares three meals a day (which I now do), my hat’s off to you! This is a full-time job! It starts at dawn when you need to take something out of the freezer for dinner. If you miss that part, you are doomed! Then, you’re immediately thrown into the breakfast thing. Give me a break. What’s wrong with Cherrios? OK, I see that the expiration date is June of 2014 — so perhaps there are a few preservatives, but whatever!

And lunch. Does someone want to tell me what you do when you’ve done lunch meat one day, and tuna the next? Lunch meat and tuna. I’m sorry, but my husband is not going to sit for a salad for lunch. Ain’t happening. So what does he want? A hamburger…. And there goes night four’s dinner. Crud.

And dinner. Well, I cannot even talk about dinner. I don’t have time. I have to cut up fruit for breakfast. Yeh, yeh, yeh. Fruit and bagels. Pretty cool, eh?

AND, I now make up my grocery list by department. Bread and pastries. Produce. Dairy. “Other”. Yep, don’t know when it happened, it just did. And, oh yeah, last night I used the left over pork loin roast and shredded the meat and made soft tacos…..

I’m so proud of myself I could spit! Have a great day!

P.S. What does a Casaba melon look like when it’s ripe?


About susansplace

Widowed in 2012, I am a mother and grandmother. Born in San Francisco, I now live in the town I grew up in: Mill Valley, California. I love nature photography. Just an amateur but that's OK! My goal: world peace. Got any ideas?
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7 Responses to Kicking and Screaming

  1. Charlotte Morse says:

    You’re doing great, hon! You get extra points for using leftovers and making something that your man will actually eat! (Not everyone is a big fan of leftovers!) Just have a couple of different ways to prepare each meat and there’s enough variety there to keep everyone happy. And then, of course, your friends always have one or two favorite recipes that they’re always happy to share. As for Casaba melons, don’t know if this works for them but it seems to work for the cantaloupe I buy – you should be able to press down on the stem and feel it gently “give” and not be rock hard. Grocery shopping, especially in a retirement community as we live in, can be hazardous to your health even before you set foot in the store! Just getting in and out of the parking lot alive is an accomplishment! As you “learn” the store and where everything is, your shopping time will decrease dramatically. It helps to categorize your list, as you already do. And, yes, you will spend gazillions of dollars at a time, only to begin a new list for the next shopping trip while you’re still unloading your groceries. It’s a lot of fun! she said sarcastically…

  2. Bev says:

    And hey….. If you’re a vegetarian AND you juice…… I might as well pitch a tent outside Whole Foods!!!!

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