For 23 years or more my husband was the chief cook. After he had to take an early retirement due to illness, I continued to work and he took up the kitchen duties. Beautiful! He has done the majority of the shopping and the majority of the cooking for all these years. I had NO IDEA what that entails. Before I get started on my rampage, may I say to all you homemakers out there: God Bless You! You are a Saint!!!

And now for the kicking and screaming part.  Go to the store like every other day (if you’re lucky), or go to the store and buy a zillion dollars worth of groceries on one trip so you can make sure to get the gasoline reward points? You’ve got to be kidding?

How in the heck do you do it, guys? Chicken, beef, pork, hamburger (OK, that’s beef), fish. That’s five meals. What about the next two? OK. Rotate: chicken, beef, pork, fish, chicken, beef, pork…. OK I get that part, but now what? Oh, I know, spaghetti. But that takes hamburger, so I’m back to five days. Ugh.

And what about the produce issues? What the heck? If I buy a whole bunch of salad stuff, to last a week (and get the gas reward) it goes rotten before we can eat it all. And what about the melon situation? Does someone want to explain why the produce guy can’t cut open a few of them and PROVE whether or not they’re ripe yet? Man, what a drag. Two cantaloupes for $5.00. Hoo Hoo! Cut into one — it’s green.

And that reminds me. Does someone want to tell me why there can’t be a little machine at the front of the store — and you could type in the words “pancake syrup”, and Voila! — Aisle 3.

For anyone that actually prepares three meals a day (which I now do), my hat’s off to you! This is a full-time job! It starts at dawn when you need to take something out of the freezer for dinner. If you miss that part, you are doomed! Then, you’re immediately thrown into the breakfast thing. Give me a break. What’s wrong with Cherrios? OK, I see that the expiration date is June of 2014 — so perhaps there are a few preservatives, but whatever!

And lunch. Does someone want to tell me what you do when you’ve done lunch meat one day, and tuna the next? Lunch meat and tuna. I’m sorry, but my husband is not going to sit for a salad for lunch. Ain’t happening. So what does he want? A hamburger…. And there goes night four’s dinner. Crud.

And dinner. Well, I cannot even talk about dinner. I don’t have time. I have to cut up fruit for breakfast. Yeh, yeh, yeh. Fruit and bagels. Pretty cool, eh?

AND, I now make up my grocery list by department. Bread and pastries. Produce. Dairy. “Other”. Yep, don’t know when it happened, it just did. And, oh yeah, last night I used the left over pork loin roast and shredded the meat and made soft tacos…..

I’m so proud of myself I could spit! Have a great day!

P.S. What does a Casaba melon look like when it’s ripe?