God’s Will Be Done

Reaching for a coffee cup, yesterday came back to her in a flood of vivid recollection. The sight of it. The smell of it. The pain of it.

His breathing had been so labored for several days now. He was heavily medicated and had been unable to speak, so she had to rely on her instincts to know what to do as each minute passed. She and her husband had discussed it all, thank God. They had shared words of love, of regrets, of happiness, of sorrow, and of faith, so she knew exactly where he stood on these matters.

The morning had been extremely difficult and so Hospice was called one last time. The nurse, her angel wings tucked neatly under her jacket, attended to him. She suggested that it was time to increase the medications a bit. Before she left, she assured the family that he would soon be very comfortable. His wife noticed that the nurse had left her a note of instructions, and at the bottom of the page, it read “no refills necessary”.

She snuggled along side her husband and gently cradled his head in the crook of her arm. Daughters and grandchildren surrounded his bedside, all with puffy, tear-streaked faces, nudging each other into a comfortable mass of love and grief, reaching out with hands wet with tears, touching his chest, his knees, his arms, his head. They watched and grimaced with each labored breath, praying for it to stop, but not wanting this life to end.

One of her daughters looked at her, pleading, and said, “Maybe you should give him some more morphine. He’s struggling so much.” She swallowed back the lump in her throat, and said, “No, we just gave him the medicine ten minutes ago. We need to wait at least twenty more minutes. I do not want to do that. It is in God’s hands. It is God’s will.

And as she spoke those words, her husband opened his eyes and looking up, he took his last breath.

With love and thanksgiving. My husband is free from pain and at home with his Savior.

God’s Peace.

Advertisements

About susansplace

Widowed in 2012, I am a mother and grandmother. Born in San Francisco, I now live in the town I grew up in: Mill Valley, California. I love nature photography. Just an amateur but that's OK! My goal: world peace. Got any ideas?
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to God’s Will Be Done

  1. Charlotte Morse says:

    You have been so strong through this whole thing, Sue, and we all pray for God’s comfort for you. I don’t have angel wings but want you to know that I grieve for you and rejoice that you have shared some of your difficult times with me. I feel very blessed for having had that awesome privilege and for the privilege of having known our dear Walt. He’s home now.

    • susansplace says:

      What do you mean, you don’t have angel’s wings? You’ve dragged them through the dust bunnies on my floor, every time you’ve come to visit and help me during these difficult days. I can see angel wing tracks everywhere! I love you.

  2. Lynn Toth says:

    My prayers of comfort have been with you since hearing of Walt’s passing yesterday, Sue. What a dear and special man he was. I so enjoyed my times with him, though few. His smile seemed to have a bit of “imp” in it, if you know what a mean. :o) I am so sorry for the loss of your dear one to so many who loved him. May God’s peace be yours.

    • susansplace says:

      Thank you, Lynn. It is the “imp” in him that I will miss the most. I’m hoping, and did ask him, if he’d send me a sign when he reached Heaven’s gates, so now, of course, I’m scared to death of what joke he might play on me!

  3. Marina Smith says:

    I wasn’t there with you, Sue….I didn’t see Walt’s sweet face or hear his labored breath or give him one last touch….my tears were shed hours later after I learned he had passed. We don’t want them to suffer……but it’s our nature not to want them to leave us either. As much as we loved Walt, God loves him even more….we can’t even begin to imagine the glories of Heaven…….someday we will…..but for now we can be assured that Walt is experiencing that Gift….no longer suffering, whole and happy and loved beyond any human comprehension.

    • susansplace says:

      Dear Marina, You are right. I keep the image in my mind of Walt embracing Jesus, surrounded by all those who have passed before. Walt’s faith was rock solid strong and that gives me some peace as I sit here missing him so much.

  4. Latricia McConnell says:

    I too offer my prayers for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings throughout this journey. Please know that the many people who read your blogs laughed, cried and pondered along with you. I marvelled at your strength and your personal relationship with God. He heard you; and all of us who prayed for Walt, you and your family. May he comfort you now as you come to grips with the reality of your loss.

    • susansplace says:

      Latricia, you hit the nail on the head: coming to grips. That is what I’m doing today. My heart feels a bit like it’s in the grip of a vice, but I know that in time, this will soften and the good memories will sustain me. For today, I think I’ll blubber some more.

  5. carol says:

    Sharing in your sorrow, our prayer for you and your family. We are so blessed have knowing Walt
    and so glad he made it to see his car show. He will be missed.

  6. Jan says:

    You and your family remain in our thoughts and prayers at this time of sorrow. We will miss Walt too. He was a very special man and so devoted to all of you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us in the precious moments you had with him. May God’s peace keep all of you strong.

  7. Linda Willoughby says:

    My very close friend, Charlotte Morse shared your blog with me and I have been reading your beautifully written thoughts for about three months now. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that your writing has given you some comfort and release. God bless you for your strength and love and as an inspiration to us, your readers.

  8. susansplace says:

    Linda, that you for your kind words. Yes, this blog has been very therapeutic for me! Today, I’m feeling a bit shell-shocked, but will take each day one at a time, knowing that God is watching over me, too.

  9. Noreene Shaffer says:

    Al and I haven’t had the opportunity to really get to know you and Walt but we have kept you in our prayers through this past months. Walt was blessed to have your strength, courage and love as you cared for him. Latricia shared “What does God Look Like” with our bible study group. May you continue to feel His love and caring as family and friends surround you with their love.

  10. Cindy Willis says:

    Sue, you and I have discussed this before and we fashion ourselves as “fixers”. We hope that we can intervene and somehow interupt the grand scheme of things and avoid mayhem. Times like this, remind us that we can only rest in the right hand of God and allow his grace to collect the tears. I believe there can be beatiful, peaceful deaths and Walt’s passing only confirmed that. He was surrounded by those he loved. May that memory comfort you and give you peace.
    Love, Cindy

  11. Bless you……..:(

  12. susansplace says:

    Thank you very much, Lilly!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s