The last card my husband gave me said this: For my wife, Together you and me…there’s no better place to be. I promised to love you forever – to stay by your side through good times and bad. It was the biggest promise I ever made. Yet each year, as forever draws closer, I’m struck by how simple it has been…because marrying you was the smartest thing I ever did. I love you, W.
A few days later he was hospitalized and his final days were near.
So today, I am sad. I think I’ll wallow in it a bit. Feels good. Poor me. How could my life change so quickly? How did I get in this predicament? Love. That’s how. I committed myself to someone, to love and to cherish, for better or worse… I bought those vows hook, line and sinker. What comes next? Oh yeah, ‘til death do us part. Really? I forgot about that part. Shoot. Didn’t really pay attention to that part. Never thought that would really happen. Well it did. So what comes next?
I don’t know what comes next. So today, I’ll be sad. It’s OK to be sad. Cried in church this morning. Again. I guess Sundays will be hard. That’s OK, too. God is there and so are many good friends with arms outstretched in love and support.
The sadness passes. Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Remember his silly grin as he watched you read that card. Oops, tears. The smell of his after shave as you thanked him with a kiss. Ahhhh, shoot. This is not easy.
Just as it takes time to grieve, it takes time to love. Love with all your heart. Make lots of good memories. They will sustain you in the sad times.
It’s OK to be sad. God’s Peace.