Pan, who and what art thou?

Pan, who and what art thou?”, Hook cried huskily. “I am youth, I am joy. I’m a little bird that has broken out of the egg.”

I can see her so clearly. She’s sitting on the rug next to me, her legs folded under her. Her head cupped in the palms of her hands, she is staring wide-eyed at the little television screen.

Tinkerbell PicDo you believe in fairies?… If you believe,” he shouted to them, “clap your hands; don’t let Tink die!” I clap my hands as hard as I can, holding them close to the TV screen, hoping that she can hear. I give my sister a sideways glance. Yes! She believes! I clap even harder. We both clap so hard that our hands turn red. We’re too scared to speak. Tink CANNOT die!

I remember reading this book to you when you were small. I remember smiling in relief when you clapped your hands! Oh thank goodness! She believes! We will have a wonderful time, you and me, revisiting the moments of my childhood that brought so much joy. Hopefully, filling your childhood with the same.

And now we are all grown up. Life is a bit different now. On one hand, life has been hard. So many curve balls that leave us sitting in the dust, wiping tears from our cheeks and wondering just how we’re supposed to go on. But we do go on, my little ones. We stand up. We brush the dust off. We try again.

We do that because life is good. Life is filled with so many Pan moments. You know that.  Don’t forget those moments. Don’t lose hope. Believe in yourself and believe in this life.

All my love. Mom


About susansplace

Widowed in 2012, I am a mother and grandmother. Born in San Francisco, I now live in the town I grew up in: Mill Valley, California. I love nature photography. Just an amateur but that's OK! My goal: world peace. Got any ideas?
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4 Responses to Pan, who and what art thou?

  1. Jan Raffety says:

    So true Sue and beautifully explained about what happens to us in life.
    We do receive a lot of curve balls thats for sure. It is how you handle them that counts. Some you handle well and some not so well.
    Jan R.

  2. I dropped my Willow Creek “hope” figurine today while I dusted. Not good. Lost hope. But I redeemed it by gluing the hand back on. The scar remains.

  3. Melodee says:

    Beautifully written, Sue! “Oh, I believe…I believe!!” Clapping my hands feverishly, too. Gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game. That’s life.

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