Dear K,
You have a boatload of grace and the love and support of your God. That’s all you need. We are all the same in this. We all have these same fears and doubts. I like this translation of the scripture you asked about:
Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
English Standard Version
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
(2 Corinthians 12:9)
So, I think He’s telling us it’s OK to be “weak” and to lean on our Lord during times when we simply cannot understand; cannot fathom the evil; and certainly, cannot find it in ourselves to forgive.
With lots of love,
Sue